CORNERSTONE, BERKELEY - SUN June 15
I had everything planned out. For this first night, I'd gotten a regular general entry ticket, and I was going with two of my friends. I was gonna be soo totally nonchalant about it - show up an hour or so early, hang out with my friends in line shortly before doors opened, end up in the middle of the crowd, and just have a fun time listening to my favorite band. I wasn't stressed about getting barricade, I didn't even have any intentions of going for it! I had a VIP ticket for the very next night's show to take care of that. And anyways, while it is fun to be close to the stage, it's equally as fun to be immersed in the crowd and watch the show through the bobbing heads and waving arms of fellow fans.
We ended up getting to the venue around 5:30pm, an hour and a half before doors opened. And just as I had expected, we weren't in a barricade spot. But that was actually because there was no barricade.
The band had changed venues last minute for some mystery reason from the UC Theatre to Cornerstone. And at this new venue, all of us in the front row were just leaning against the stage. Usually I feel pretty anonymous at concerts, even at the front, because it's so easy to just disappear into the crowd while everyone's focusing on the music. I prefer the anonymity; it means I can have fun without feeling judged, lol. This night was different. It was nerve-wracking waiting for the opening act, Soklo, to get on stage.
Most of the first part of Soklo's act was a blur to me. Not in a bad way! They were really cool, but I didn't know any of their music yet, so it all blurs in my memory as fun cool vibes. What I do remember in detail is how the singer accidentally broke the headstock off his guitar, and then gave it to my friend after their set was over. We also met them outside the venue, and they signed the headstock for my friend and asked for a photo with him. It was so funny leaving the show with a piece of the opening act's equipment.
Of course, the fun of the night didn't stop with the opener. When you're at an I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME show, how could it?! As soon as Dallon walks on stage, the concept of time and space ceases to exist, and all that matters is having a great time. That's what iDKHOW shows feel like for me, anyways. And this night was unlike any other... except.
Except for the first time I had ever seen iDKHOW, all the way back in 2018. After my sister had come home one day asking if I was interested in seeing this band that Spotify recommended to her - the band that I'd coincidentally just been getting into. Two $15 tickets and five hours spent waiting in line later, my sister and I found ourselves at the front of a 300-capacity room attached to a sports bar in downtown Sacramento.
There was no opener. This was iDKHOW's first proper tour, and their twenty-secondth show ever. It started with Dallon stomping and snapping to the rhythm of 'Nobody Likes the Opening Band,' which had officially been released exactly one month prior. Everyone knew the words, of course, and we all loudly sang along.
With two people in between me and the three-foot-tall stage, I was sure that all future iDKHOW shows would pale in comparison to this one. Luckily, I've been wrong about that with every show I've attended since. I was especially wrong on this lovely night in Berkeley.
First of all, the setlist was amazing. I was psyched the entire night. I also discovered the true joy of standing in the far corner with no barricade - I had access to the edges of the stage, past the band's equipment, which meant I could place my phone down to record all my favorite songs while also being able to jump and shout as much as I wanted.
The other joy in standing where I was, was that I was genuinely directly in front of Isaac, the band's touring guitarist. At one point, he tossed a pick at my friend (dropped it, really - did I mention that we were directly in front of him?), and I jokingly asked if he was gonna keep it because I wanted it. (JOKINGLY! UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT ONLY MY FRIENDS WOULD HEAR ME!)
But then, within the same thirty seconds, my friend asked Isaac about the cat on his pick, and he told him it was his cat named Vinny! Which is such a cute idea, but all I could think about in the moment was how MORTIFIED I was at the possibility of him having heard my JOKE to my FRIEND about me wanting to take his pick...
Of course, I forgot all about that once the next song started.
By the end of the show, I realized I was close to where Isaac's setlist was on the stage. So when they finished playing 'Choke,' I started pointing at it, ready to ask very politely if I could have it. The person next to me saw, though, and peeled it right off the stage for me. I was so grateful, and also embarassed; just a couple songs before, I'd thought they had grabbed a pick that should have been mine. It turned out that the pick had bounced off them towards me (I apologized as soon as I found out) and it was a good, humbling reminder that concerts are first and foremost about the music and the experience, and things like picks and setlists are secondary. I wish I had apologized more in-depth after the fact, but I did at least thank them profusely for getting me the setlist.
With the setlist in hand, I was so sure that the night couldn't possibly get any better. I watched the band do their group bow, and I cheered along with the crowd, so excited for the next show to come.
But then, before Isaac left the stage, he walked...directly towards me?
He handed me a pick, smiled as I yelled a shocked thank-you, and walked off the stage.
If you'll recall, I'm used to concerts being a completely anonymous experience. The thought of anyone on stage singling me out in a crowd in ANY capacity felt impossible. And yet...
A few days later, I went searching for videos from the show. I mostly just wanted to brag to my twitter friends about it. (I also wanted to clarify if it was as dramatic as my memory suggested.)
Luckily YouTube user shane1039 pulled through and uploaded this video that showed me I was actually wrong about what had happened! See, from what I had remembered, Isaac was throwing out picks to the crowd and happened to have an extra one left, which he gave me. But what I hadn't noticed in my post-iDKHOW daze was that he'd grabbed it out of his pocket. I have no idea when he put it aside, but it was clear he'd wanted me to have it.
Yeah, casual flex. The guitarist of my favorite band saved a pick just for me.
I went home from that show giddier than ever. My friends had Soklo's headstock, I had Isaac's setlist, and we both had one of his picks.
And once I got home, I saw that Dallon had reposted someone's photo from the show. I realized that if I wanted him to see the photos I had taken, I needed to post them immediately - so, even though it was close to three in the morning, I opened PicsArt and speed-edited a couple pictures to throw on my story. And then I passed out.
ACE OF SPADES, SACRAMENTO - MON June 16
Six hours later, I woke up to THE notification: "idkhow Mentioned you in their story." Or rather, I woke up to it having happened two hours before, while I was still snoozing. Elijah Sokolow, aka Soklo, had also reposted my video to his story. It felt like a good omen for the day I had ahead of me.
I left my house at about 11 AM. Early VIP entry was supposed to begin at 4 PM, but I planned to wait in line beforehand. I was going alone, so I wanted the time to make friends with the people near me - iDKHOW crowds have always been unusually nice, especially compared to how bad concert ettiquete has gotten in the past few years. I was the fifth or sixth person in line, and I coincidentally ended up right behind the same person that Dallon had reposted the night before! The first eleven of us ended up all befriending each other for the day. It was so nice.
After a while, I got hungry. The band hadn't arrived yet because they were having issues with their tour bus. I joked that they'd end up arriving right when I left to get food... and then that's exactly what happened. Whatever!
We got let in for the VIP Entry a little after 5 PM, and the band played three exclusive soundcheck songs: 'Better Than Me' (a Brobecks song), 'Gloomtown Brats,' and 'Make a Lot of Money.' After that, Dallon did a Q&A with pre-submitted questions we had sent in online.
Now, Dallon has always loved a good Q&A. I can't recall off the top of my head how many times he's answered my questions on twitter over the years. That didn't make it any less intimidating when he read out my name (albeit with a slightly wrong pronounciation) and looked me dead in the eyes while he spoke to me. I've always been weird about eye contact, but it's especially scary when it's coming from someone on a stage directly in front of you... even more so when it's your favorite singer of all time. I'd asked him if there were any queer artists that had caught his attention lately, and in response he asked me if I knew who LP was. Unfortunately I did not, so he went on to describe her as a "tiny little lesbian lady" who makes him wish he was a tiny little lesbian! Now that sounds like an artist I need to check out.
For this VIP Soundcheck/Q&A, I found myself on Anthony's side of the barricade. I was totally down to stay there, but Soklo still needed to do their soundcheck, so the venue staff ushered us towards the merch booth and had us wait until they were done to come back. This caused a bit of an issue with people who had shown up far later than myself and the other ten people who had waited multiple hours in line. And by that I mean, we overheard a few people excitedly planning how they could get to the barricade that we had waited in line for.
I can shrug it off now, but in the moment I was very annoyed. The entire point of a concert is to enjoy the music, and to see people scheming to essentially cut in line to the front, diminishing the value of the show based on how close they could get, felt so frustrating. I mean, it's basic manners. I'd expect this anywhere else but an iDKHOW show.
When it came time to head back on the floor, the eleven of us walked together in conjoined lines parallel to the stage. We specifically made sure that the two girls who were first in line got the perfect, center-barricade spot. All the rest of us fell in line to each side of them, and we happily waited for the show to begin.
I ended up on the left side of the two girls, who I found out were sisters from LA who had traveled up to Sacramento because the shows down there didn't align with their schedules. The older sister's favorite song was 'Clusterhug,' which is one of my favorite Brobecks songs! The younger sister's favorite was 'Mx Sinister,' which is mine as well; they had already agreed to record those songs for each other, so I got to jump and scream when 'Mx Sinister' played, knowing I'd get a video of it later.
I was a little nervous about being on Isaac's side again. I had had time to watch back my videos and process the fact that I'd basically spent the whole show screaming less than a foot in front of him, and here I was the very next night, once more standing on his side of the stage. I knew that my bright red hair unintentionally made me a little more recognizable than the average person. But I was also ready for the very likely outcome of nobody remembering who the hell I was. Remember, I like my concert anonymity.
Turns out, he did remember me. I'm glad that didn't seem to be a bad thing, though.
As the band started playing 'Kiss Goodnight,' I was staring at Dallon, of course. But then I got the eerie feeling that someone was looking at me. I turned to my left and Isaac was waving at me! He tossed me a pick, and I tried to catch it, cupping my hands in front of me as quickly as I could manage... and then I DROPPED IT. I vaguely remember yelling "OH SHIT," and seeing Isaac laugh at me. I later found this video, posted by one of the people I made friends with in line, and I think he also apologized, or something, I can't really tell. LMAO.
But (not) surprisingly, this wasn't my first time dropping a pick - in 2022, Anthony threw a pick to me, which I also dropped past the barricade. One of the venue's security team had picked it up for me, faked me out by pretending to throw it past me, and then gave it to me after laughing at me.
So I immediately looked at the closest security member, and after they were nice enough to grab the pick for me, I INSTANTLY pocketed it and went right back to staring at Dallon.
When they played 'Nobody Likes the Opening Band,' I got emotional all over again. All I could think about was that first time I had seen them all those years ago, when Dallon walked on stage and started the show with this song. And at the part where he points to various people in the crowd, I was surprised when he pointed at me! All I remember is pointing to myself dramatically like that one stock image of a guy pointing at himself. And then he pointed at the sisters next to me, and I was even happier than before. For some reason, I get more excited seeing other people live out the cool moments like that. It's just fun to witness it.
And, just like the previous night, I was so certain that that was it. After all, how much good luck could one person have in the span of twenty-four hours?
Once again, I waited for the band to do their group bow together after 'Choke.' I remember it all as vividly as if it were a movie scene playing out before me:
I was watching Dallon, and all I was thinking about was how much I love I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME, how amazing Dallon's artistry is, how I've loved every song I've ever heard of his, and how the entire band all come together to play the most amazing live music possible. I was so grateful to have gotten a chance to see them two nights in a row, like I had dreamed of doing as a teenager. It all felt so special and full circle for me. That's all I had on my mind in that moment.
And then suddenly, I noticed Ronnie, the drummer, walking directly towards me, pointedly holding up his setlist. And I was so sure that he'd end up throwing it to someone behind me. But still, I held out my hands. Time seemed to slow down, and I remember seeing arms waving all around me, framing my view, all wanting the same setlist. And then he was in front of me, and he was handing me his setlist, and it was IN MY HANDS, and I held it up victoriously, somehow remembering to scream a "THANK YOU!!!" in my disbelieving elation. And he was smiling at me, and it felt so awesome to know that he knew how happy and grateful I was. It felt like the happiest moment in my life.
And then I think Isaac gave the sisters next to me his setlist, and I was even happier, because they were so sweet. The band finally did their group bow, and Isaac, Ronnie, and Anthony all walked off the stage, and Dallon stayed to hype up the crowd one last time. It was all so beautiful. It was a perfect ending to such a perfect two days.
After the show, me and a few other people I'd befriended in line waited around to see if we could meet the band. I quickly edited a couple of photos while I was waiting, as I'd done the night before. And as we were actively in the middle of a conversation, I got a notification from the iDKHOW instagram account reposting my photo! And then I got another, this time from Dallon's personal account - he'd tagged himself on his iDKHOW repost so that he could cross-repost it. It was kind of funny, because I had tagged both his accounts the night before, so I figured only tagging the band account this second time would suffice. But of course the photo I didn't tag him on was the one he wanted to repost there.
We didn't get to meet Dallon after the show, because the security team said he was feeling sick. I did get to briefly say hi to Isaac and Anthony, my nerves getting the best of me as they always do - all I managed to say to Isaac was, "Thanks for the pick!"
There was a girl near me who had been excitedly talking with her mom about how she had never gotten the chance to meet Dallon before. Even though me and my line friends had walked away by the time Dallon got into the tour bus, I saw that she and her mom lingered nearby, and she got the chance to quickly say hi to him. It made it all worth it to me - I remember how it felt to meet him for the first time, and how it cemented that first iDKHOW show I ever went to in my mind as the coolest show ever. I'm glad that she and her mom got to have that moment.
When I got back into my car, I realized that my favorite song was already queued up on my phone. So I cranked up the volume and happily began my drive home, realizing far too late how creepy it might have seemed to go right past the tour bus with the lyrics "I'M GONNA GET YOU, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU MINE, JUST KNOW I'M NOT THE SINISTER TYPE..." on full blast. Um. My bad. Hopefully the bus had thick windows.
I somehow didn't get tired until about four in the morning. I was too cranked up on post-iDKHOW adrenaline. So, to try and get it out of my system, I edited my favorite photos from that night and made a grid post. And then I was finally able to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up to two final notifications: Dallon had liked my post and reposted it onto his story.
Before these shows, he'd never seen any of my instagram posts. Well...okay, in high school I had an art account on instagram, and the band account liked several of my fanart posts. But he had never reposted anything of mine, and then suddenly he'd reposted my photos four times in two days. It was unbelievable.
How many times can I say I love iDKHOW for it to sufficiently describe how much I love this band?! I'm already impatient for another tour. I miss them! I miss the feeling of being in an iDKHOW crowd! I've gone to countless live gigs, and seen 50+ artists, and truly, nobody else compares. Except maybe The Brobecks. I hope I'll get the chance to see them someday.
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